Hmmm, where to start off with this post? In my last one, I was rambling about how I was going to become more faithful about posting, but judging from the space of time in between the two, that didn't happen.
I feel like I've experienced some sort of awakening since I've been on summer break. I've decided (or better, realized) that I'm pretty unhappy with my life right now. Actually, I feel like I've been on somewhat of a downward slope since I started graduate school two years ago. I came into graduate school feeling excited and motivated, and now I'm feeling the complete opposite. Go figure. No longer do I have the same sense of curiosity and excitement about my studies, and it's taking every bit of resolve I have to make myself go back this fall and finish up my M.A. However, since I'm only a semester away from finishing up, I will definitely do so because it would be foolish to do otherwise.
Deep down I feel like pursuing a career in academia is not for me. I think over the past couple of years I've tried to convince myself otherwise, and I'm finally realizing that no matter how hard I try to fool myself, I'm not going to be happy as a professor or academic.
After finally being able to admit all this to myself, I feel a real sense of relief. Now instead of putting all my energy into convincing myself that I need to do academia, I can focus my energy on being productive and doing something that really appeals to me. That said, I've decided to apply to a different graduate program after finishing my M.A. this fall. Hopefully in the spring semester I'll start coursework for a Master of Liberal Studies in Arts Management at the U. I've also applied for a few internships at some arts organizations here in the Twin Cities (I won't name any specific names yet), so hopefully I'll be getting back to something I really love.
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I hear that. I've got a similar sense of disinterest with academia right now, so I'm taking a break from school to figure out if it's really for me before I go back to my masters.
Linguistics is still mindbogglingly interesting to me, but I think my goals with what I want to do with linguistics have shifted. To accomplish those though, I have to go back to the lifestyle of writing papers on detailed topics and get a masters at minimum. I just don't how I want to deal with that yet.
I guess I'd encourage you to take a break if you can afford to. What you study will still be there in a few years if you feel really inspired to do something about it then. Did you jump right into grad school immediately after your undergrad?
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