So, it would seem that fall is now arriving in Minnesota. Right now, it's only about 67 degrees, and for 3:00 in the afternoon, that's pretty cool. I'm definitely not complaining--far from it, in fact. Fall is my favorite season, and the cooler air makes me want to do things like take evening walks wearing a light, fall jacket. I always forget how much I love fall until it actually comes around again.

My school semester is interesting thus far--I'm not taking any courses in the Dept. of Spanish and Portuguese, so I'm getting a good taste of what my new field will be like. It's nice to do something different for a change, but at the same time, I'm ready to finish my M.A. in Spanish up so I can officially move on. Next semester I'll finish my coursework, take my exams, and then move on.

I'm definitely going to be busy this semester. Between school and working at church, my plate is full. At least I won't be bored...

The trick is to keep breathing

Hmmm, where to start off with this post? In my last one, I was rambling about how I was going to become more faithful about posting, but judging from the space of time in between the two, that didn't happen.

I feel like I've experienced some sort of awakening since I've been on summer break. I've decided (or better, realized) that I'm pretty unhappy with my life right now. Actually, I feel like I've been on somewhat of a downward slope since I started graduate school two years ago. I came into graduate school feeling excited and motivated, and now I'm feeling the complete opposite. Go figure. No longer do I have the same sense of curiosity and excitement about my studies, and it's taking every bit of resolve I have to make myself go back this fall and finish up my M.A. However, since I'm only a semester away from finishing up, I will definitely do so because it would be foolish to do otherwise.

Deep down I feel like pursuing a career in academia is not for me. I think over the past couple of years I've tried to convince myself otherwise, and I'm finally realizing that no matter how hard I try to fool myself, I'm not going to be happy as a professor or academic.

After finally being able to admit all this to myself, I feel a real sense of relief. Now instead of putting all my energy into convincing myself that I need to do academia, I can focus my energy on being productive and doing something that really appeals to me. That said, I've decided to apply to a different graduate program after finishing my M.A. this fall. Hopefully in the spring semester I'll start coursework for a Master of Liberal Studies in Arts Management at the U. I've also applied for a few internships at some arts organizations here in the Twin Cities (I won't name any specific names yet), so hopefully I'll be getting back to something I really love.

El Gran Cocoroco dice: tu-cu-tú.

I don't feel much like writing a blog post, but I'm trying to become more regular about my posting, so hopefully this will help me get into the habit.

It's a lovely warm and sunny Monday here in Minneapolis! According to weather.com, it's currently 73 degrees, which makes today the warmest day we've had in six months! Supposedly it is going to rain this afternoon/evening, which is okay with me as long as I don't get stuck outside in it. I'm currently in the office trying to finish up some really boring reading before my 2:30 class. I won't get it all finished before class, but I at least would like to have a little more done than I do now. Sitting through a three-hour class without understanding what's going on makes for a long 180 minutes.

Tonight I have to teach at 5:30; I've been thinking that my supervisor was going to come observe me tonight, but she just saw me in the hall and told me that she might not be able to make it. That would definitely be okay with me, especially since it means that she wouldn't be able to observe me again until next fall. Mmmm.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 with lots on my mind (it's that time of the semester), so after lounging around for about 15 minutes I finally got up. I was at school by 7 and I've been here vacillating between working and not-quite-working ever since. All I really want to do is go home and sleep.

Tomorrow I don't have class or teaching, so I hope to have a productive day. End of semester, here I come!

Purple haze

At last, a day that feels like spring. We've had some sunny/warm-ish days over the past couple of weeks, but this is the first day I've really felt like the winter is over. Thank g-d. This past winter (my second in Minnesota) was definitely longer than the first. People told me last year that the winter was mild, and I didn't really believe them until I realized how nasty this year's winter was. Oh well. It's a thing of the past now.

Dora and I are in Common Roots trying to get some work done. Even though the nice weather is inspiring, it makes it hard to sit inside and work. At least there are big windows here that let the sunlight in.

Last night I absentmindedly left my debit card in the ATM after making a withdrawal. Or at least, I'm assuming that's what I did. All I know is that I had my card when I went to the ATM, and later that night when I went to pay for my dinner, I didn't have it. I called to cancel that card and order a new one, so this makes the second card I've lost in the past few weeks. Meh.

I want to get done with a decent chunk of work this afternoon so I can enjoy the rest of the day, and tonight relax and listen to "This American Life." The past couple of Sundays, I've been downloading the previous week's podcast and listening to it in the evening, so I hope to continue that tradition tonight. I'm always a week behind, but I never have free time when the program airs during the afternoon, so it works out I guess.

Back to work.

I've got your love to keep me warm.

Wow, what a lapse between my previous post and this one. That seems to be my way, though. I seem to be less-than-successful when it comes to blogging on a regular basis.

I just re-read my last post, and realized how much has happened since the middle of February. Then, I was talking about things like putting together the graduate symposium and organizing my parents' twenty-fifth wedding anniversary party. Now, all of that seems a bit like a distant memory.

Overall, I'd say the symposium, "(Re)membering, (Re)collecting, and (Re)creating: Memory, an Interdisciplinary Forum", was successful. Having the opportunity to meet and get to know Alicia Kozameh was amazing--I'll probably remember it as the highlight of this semester. Though I have only read one of her novels and a couple of her short stories, I know that going back to reading her work will be a completely new experience after having shared some time with her. I heard lots of compliments and good things about the symposium, so I'm most happy about that. The only thing I'm not that happy about is the lack of attendance. There was a surprising (perhaps not-so-surprising) lack of attendance, especially from my own department. After all the hard work that went into organizing the symposium, that came as a bit of a disappointment.

About my parents' anniversary party--I'm so happy the family had a chance to come together and celebrate. My parents were, to say the very least, surprised. They both seemed a little overwhelmed to me; I don't know if anyone has ever thrown a party in their honor or not. There were lots of smiles, tears, and hugs. It's hard for me to think that my parents were only about a year older than me when they got married. I can't imagine myself being prepared for that sort of commitment at this point in my life. Of course, their marriage was hastened by the fact that my mom was already pregnant with me.

I also had the fortune a couple of weeks ago to meet and share some time with Noni Benegas, a lesbian poet from Argentina now living in Spain. While we'd read some of her poems from Burning Cartography (Cartografia Ardiente) in one of my classes, I didn't really appreciate her work until having the chance to hear her speak and listening to her read her own poems. It's quite a different experience having a poet read her own work to you.

The end of the semester is only a few (three, maybe?) weeks away, and I have a significant amount of work to accomplish in that period of time. At least I'm feeling motivated, which is more than I can say for the state of my mood over the past semester/year. After two years of graduate school, I think I'm finally beginning to understand more about how I work, and how I have to be able to shape my work habits around my own personality. I'll finish my M.A. in the fall semester, and then immediately begin work on my Ph.D. My adviser suggested yesterday that I use the summer to begin thinking about dissertation topics. Wow. If all goes as planned, I'll be writing my dissertation in a couple of years. Scary much? I really don't know how to begin--I know the fields I want to incorporate (contemporary Latin American literature, feminist/queer theory, gender performance...), but I don't have any specific ideas. My first task in all that will be to familiarize myself with the bibliographies relating to those topics, and then I'll go from there.

For now, my focus is going to be on finishing the semester. That's seems like a sufficient challenge for the time being.

A boy named Sue

I think I can get used to this business of three day weeks--I'm quickly becoming spoiled to four day weekends. I'm hoping that with all this free time, I might actually be a bit more productive.

Even though I'm only taking two classes this semester, I still have a lot going on. I'm enjoying my classes for the most part--especially the one I'm taking about feminist readings of Latin American/Iberian texts (which is a good thing I suppose, since this is the area of scholarship I want to eventually move into).

Co-chairing this year's symposium is also an added source of stress. I'm feeling excited about the way things are beginning to come together--I'm especially excited about getting to meet Alicia Kozameh, who will be coming from Los Angeles to give a public reading and deliver the plenary speech during the symposium. I'm just hoping that we receive a sufficient number of paper abstracts for this year's symposium to be a success. The deadline for abstract submission is this Friday, so we'll see what happens.

I really want to buy a recliner. I've been searching around on craigslist and haven't really found much of anything, unfortunately. The reason I'm wanting a recliner is so I'll have a comfortable place to do my reading. When you have lots of reading to do, sitting at a desk staring down at a book becomes uncomfortable very quickly. And reading in bed somehow always leads to sleep. So, I'm hoping I can find a recliner and that my problems will be solved. Well, at least this one problem.

As my parents 25th wedding anniversary draws near (a little over two weeks away), there still remains a great deal of planning/organization to be done for their party. I spoke with Patrick tonight though, and we hammered out lots of the details. I'm flying back to Kentucky on February 28, and I'm looking forward to seeing my parents and family. I think it will be a complete surprise to my parents, and they deserve some recognition for putting up with each other for twenty-five years. I know there have been plenty of times when it's been less-than-easy for them. Cheers to them!

I realize that the topics of this post ended up rather random and unorganized, but I haven't written in a while and just wanted to get some thoughts down to perhaps get me into the swing of writing again.

Hasta la proxima.

Early to bed, early to rise...

...fish like hell and make up lies.

It's only Monday and I'm already exhausted! Today wasn't exceptionally trying; I taught at 8, worked in the tutor lab from 10-11, sat through a class from 12:45-2, and sat through another class from 2:30-5:30. All that was enough to keep me from getting bored (well, that's not completely accurate), but it was far from being a hectic day. Still, by the time I arrived home this evening, I had to collapse on my bed to lose myself in an episode of Are You Being Served?.

This past weekend came as a much needed breather after a long (four-day) week of school. Friday night Dora and I saw Balls of Fury and then ate a late dinner at Chiang Mai Thai. Saturday I slept late and then Aaron came over that night to make dinner with me. We ended up going out to the Saloon late that night, and consequently, slept most of the next day away. Though somewhat uneventful, Sunday was my favorite day of the weekend. Aaron and I spent most of it in bed, which was probably what I enjoyed the most.

I've experienced at least one session of every course I'm taking this semester, and honestly, I'm not incredibly excited about the content of any of them. I think my Medieval Lit course will be my favorite, which is a scary thing to admit.

After class today, one of my students pointed out that I had a hickey on my neck. I tried to come up with a quick excuse, but realized that anything I might say would sound stupid, so I just smiled and changed the subject. C'est la vie, je suppose.